Fear of Flying
by theimpossiblegrrl
Summary: Set in the later world of "Apprentice". Ginny is offered some extra work by helping Madam Hooch referee the House Quidditch games. But, her memories of the game she once loved have made her afraid to fly. Can Severus rise to the occasion by getting her back on a broom and into the game she once loved? M for lemons and adult situations. It's all excessivelyperky's fault. Complete.


A/N: This was all excessivelyperky's fault. I was done with the "Apprentice" world until she posted something in a review that made me giggle-snort so loudly that I almost woke up my children. Didn't read it? The comment was something along the lines of: **"She needs to go up on a broom and see if it still has the same old magic. (then again, I bet she'll be on Snape's broom fairly soon here...)."  
** _Dammit_. My mind went to the gutter and back with that. Then, I realized this was a world I missed a little (a lot). An outline for a oneshot came, then it demanded to be written. Quickly.  
So, without further ado …

 **Apprentice – Fear of Flying**

* * *

 _"Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."  
― Leonardo da Vinci_

 _Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, August 2011_

"I forbid it," Severus said, folding his arms over his chest. He stared down at me, head slightly cocked to the side in the excessively forbidding way. It was usually my warning that he had some darker plans ahead.

The skin on my bum tingled in response.

"Severus, I haven't flown in …" I paused for a moment to think. I couldn't actually remember the last time I _had_ flown. We had not had Quidditch at all in my Sixth year at Hogwarts - Severus had banned all activities that would put the students in any proximity to the Dementors. In my last year, the Quidditch pitch had not yet been rebuilt; it had been an afterthought due to the rebuild of the school, and there weren't really enough students who came back after the War to justify it yet.

We had been married for almost nine years now, and I'd be thirty one at the end of the summer. So I hadn't flown in –

"Oh, Merlin's beard. I haven't flown in almost fifteen years! There's no way you're going to get me back on a broom," I said, trying to make my voice firm.

"I don't like your attitude about this, Mrs. Snape," he said, his voice suddenly becoming as authoritative as I wished my own to be.

Even on my best day, when cauldrons were exploding and the students in my Gryffindor and Slytherin Double Potions classes were threatening to maim each other, I could never pull off as much power in my voice during a screaming rant as Severus could in one calm sentence. My students respected me, I knew they did, but they would never fear me as they did my husband.

"But – "

"No 'buts'. You will be Rolanda's second if she needs help refereeing," he said, sitting down behind his desk.

"Severus," I said, pleading a little.

"What are you so afraid of?"

I swallowed and looked away.

What _was_ I afraid of? I had always been a good flyer, better than good really. There'd even been talk of me playing professionally if not for the War and for my breakdown. My last teenage years had been heaven and hell; the course of those years had changed my entire life. I had no regrets, for I'd found the real love of my life in the outcome. But if there was any one thing that I truly missed, it was flying. I had never mentioned it to Severus, but his mind had become so keen to mine over the years that most of the time I didn't need to mention many things to him.

I wondered how long he'd been planning this, and if Rolanda really _did_ need the extra help.

Looking back at him, I narrowed my eyes and frowned while he attempted to look as innocent as possible.

"I wouldn't know. I'm only the messenger," he said, calmly. "And you didn't answer my question."

"I'm afraid of the past," I said, as honestly as I could. "Flying and Quidditch were a part of me for as long as I could walk, then I abandoned it. I think of flying, and I think of riding on the back of Fred's broom over the cornfields during the summer. I think of flying, and I think of Harry. What if I get on a broom and get overwhelmed by all those memories?"

Severus studied me, his black eyes glittering. "What if I fly with you, before you completely commit to anything? We can go out on the pitch together, and I'll be with you in case things become too much."

"I'd like that," I said, smiling. "I'd almost forgotten you were handy with a broom."

"Your brother hasn't," he sighed.

"George is a prat, Severus. You know he can't give up a good joke. Being able to constantly needle you about his ear because it still bothers _you_ is too much for him to pass up."

"Perhaps," he said softly. He looked down at his hands for a minute before he looked back up to me. He patted the desk in front of him.

I sighed in anticipatory pleasure as I bent over the desk and lifted my skirt.

"My, my, Mrs. Snape, you seem to have forgotten to wear your knickers," he said as he stroked the skin of my bare arse.

I giggled. Only every day for the past ten years. But it still never ceased to make him happy, and I would keep doing it only for that as long as he wanted me to.

His hand slapped down against me.

"What was that, my beloved girl?" he asked, his voice suddenly soft.

"Nothing, Sir," I whispered.

His laughter filled the room as he spanked me again … and again … and again …

* * *

We'd become permanent residents of Hogwarts after Severus had, with great reluctance, accepted the position of Deputy Headmaster after Filius retired two years ago. Until the castle became our home again, neither of us had really appreciated just how much we had enjoyed the freedom of the summers away in our little cottage in Hogsmeade. We still kept the home for holidays, but I missed our little office there, where we could work side by side at our desks – mine always cluttered and covered in pictures of my nieces and nephews, as well as Harry and Hermione's children, and his neat as a pin, though covered in bottles of his favorite red ink.

I changed into an old t-shirt and pair of shorts before we walked to the pitch. They were not the kind of clothes I'd ever let a student see me in, and not clothes that Severus favored on me, but on a muggy summer day like today they were exactly what I needed - not to mention that I wanted to feel the sun on my skin if I was really going to do this.

I normally didn't let this much skin show. Though the paste I developed when I was an apprentice had helped my scars considerably, they were still there, and I didn't like for everyone to see all the hurts of my past. As Minerva was at a Transfiguration conference, and Mr. Filch was off to visit his family, I felt safe enough. The house-elves would tell no tales – at least not to anyone but each other.

Severus eyed my legs with appreciation, but scowled at me when I giggled at his appearance. As per usual, he was in his black coat and trousers, though he did leave his teaching robes in his office.

"You'll burn up in those, dear," I said.

He frowned at me. "Cooling charm, Mrs. Snape."

"Why didn't we ever think of that," I muttered as we entered the field house.

The scent of wood and straw hit me immediately, reminding me of being young and carefree. I walked the perimeter of the room, taking in all of the brooms and equipment. The school had invested in Nimbus 2000s after the later series was issued. They were still in excellent shape, I noted, as I took in the weight of the handle and the fine straw of the head of the broom I took from the rack. Rolanda kept them in much better condition than the old Cleansweeps. They looked almost brand new.

Before we walked out of the field house, Severus grabbed my hand.

"Ginny, are you pregnant?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. "I don't think so, but you know the diagnostic charms better than I do."

He nodded and set his broom aside. He grabbed his wand from his sleeve and said, "Inveniet vitam."

Not for the first time since we became lovers, there was no glow over my abdomen.

"Did you expect anything different?" I asked. I hadn't taken a Contraceptive Potion in years at this point as I didn't like the side effects. And when casting the charms became too much of a mood killer, we just stopped altogether. That had been five years ago, and I had never become pregnant.

Severus and I both assumed that it was an after effect from the Cruciatus Curse. Hermione's two children were evidence that our theory might not be correct. But, but then again, she hadn't had it cast on her as many times as I had. And I had not received nearly the amount of punishment by it that Severus had.

"No," he said.

It had never really mattered, one way or the other. I was happy enough with the multitude of the next generation of Weasley's, and Severus hadn't voiced an opinion one way or the other.

Except …

Except with every month, then every year that passed, I could tell that it was as much as scar of his past as it was of mine. Every time he asked the question and my answer was 'no', I saw a little of the light in his eyes dim for the briefest second.

Sometimes I wondered if mine did, too.

He picked up his broom, leading me out to the beautiful pitch. I almost wanted to take off my trainers and socks so that I could dip my toes in the sand, but resisted just now.

"Up," I commanded.

The broom sprang into my trembling hands. I grinned and looked over to my husband, just catching him as he wordlessly commanded his broom to life.

"Show off."

"Mrs. Snape," he warned.

I nodded and walked to the edge of the pitch, reluctantly mounting the broom. I tried to kick off into the air, but every time I almost felt the motion happen, I stalled. After five minutes of fear and Severus's penetrating stare, I tossed aside my broom and sat down on the sand.

Defeat washed over me as tears ran down my cheeks, dripping onto my shirt. His long shadow loomed over me as walk walked to my side and sat down. He put an arm around my shoulder while I stared at the new pitch.

I'd watched hundreds of games here in the last decade, with Severus sitting next to me in the teacher's box, just like we were now.

But in this moment all I could see was the old pitch burning the night of the Battle of Hogwarts, the glow bright from my view in the courtyard.

I could see Oliver, Alicia, Angelina, and Katie on their brooms, fighting Death Eaters and giants, dodging hexes while performing dives they'd only dreamed about accomplishing during a game.

I could see my brothers … all of my brothers out there … _Fred …_

It hurt.

My fingers twitched with need completely unrelated to flying.

Severus tightened his arm around me, just letting me be still until the thoughts swirled out of my head. By then, the sun was about to set and his Cooling Charm had long worn off. But he was still there with me.

* * *

We tried again the next day. But this time, when we entered the field house, he voiced an idea.

"We'll fly together this time," Severus said, motioning me to put my broom away.

I followed him out to the pitch. He again commanded his broom without a sound, though this time I didn't scowl. I mounted the broom, and felt him mount it behind me before he kicked off.

And then we were in the air. As we easily flew around the pitchers, I realized that in all the years I'd known my husband, I'd never seen him fly. Harry once told me about the time Severus had refereed during his First year, and that he had thought Severus to be a 'good' flyer.

'Good' was an understatement. A man who could throw curses and hexes while sailing around on a broom was better than 'good'.

Severus was _brilliant_ on a broom, better than I had ever thought he could be. We traveled smoothly in the air, whipping around the towers at a speed that made my heart race. He leaned into me, securing his grip on the handle in front of us.

"You okay?" he asked, his breath warm on my ear.

I nodded, leaning back against him. The memories of the past sailed past us faster than you could say "Quidditch", as Rolanda would say.

My hands still trembled, but only because my fingers twitched with the need to take control.

"Do it," he said. Severus slid his hands over mine, further down the shaft of the broom, then slid them back up to the lead position. I took charge, leaning into the speed as his arms circled my waist.

 _Oh gods above!_

It was almost better than our times in his office, though nothing would ever free me as much as his hands did. I felt the wind over my hair, then suddenly my hair was free from the knot I'd secured it in, and the wind made it blow around recklessly as we darted around the towers.

"That was a bad idea," Severus muttered to himself as he tried to move the long strands out of his face.

I took us off the school grounds, circling over to Black Lake, and around the top of the Forbidden Forrest. With Severus behind me, just as he always was and swore to always be, I felt like I could do anything. Eventually, I flew us back to the castle, still too shiny and new. But even that was somehow good, because I no longer saw my friends fighting. I just saw Severus and me, reflected in the windows as we flew by.

Then, I only saw myself.

And I saw that I was happy, smiling as though I were as mad as Bellatrix Lestrange, except that I was completely sane.

I had everything I ever wanted.

* * *

We returned to the field house after our flight. Severus watched me care for the broom, shining it with polish and trimming the straw carefully. When I was done, the door slammed shut and locked itself tightly.

I had to fight to keep from smiling. Even with my well taught control, I smiled when he placed his wards.

"You fly very well, Mrs. Snape," he said in the deceptively soft voice that he saved for me for when I was very good.

My nipples hardened.

"Thank you, Sir," I replied. I grabbed a flannel and started polishing the handle and shaft of the broom, though I had already tended to it with care. I slowly turned, lazily stroking the wood up and down in my hand as I looked into my husband's eyes. They were glowing like burning coal, bright copper flecks present in the blackness.

"Do you find you like to ride or fly solo better?" he asked. He stroked himself through his trousers, and I felt myself start to get very, very wet as his flesh hardened.

"Both," I said.

He bit the inside of his cheek. "There are some activities where you _can_ do both."

I swallowed and dropped the broom. The sound echoed in the small room.

"My, my, my, Mrs. Snape. One would think something was _bothering_ you. Your cheeks are flushed, and I can see your pulse racing in your throat," he purred, unbuttoning his coat and throwing it on a nearby work table. His shirt went next, followed by his trousers, boots, and socks.

Today, _he'd_ decided not to wear underwear as well. My mouth went dry when I looked at his erection, large and thick and long, beckoning me to it. I tore off my clothes and pushed him to the ground, landing on top of him.

"I thought you might want a … ride," he said, smirking up at me as I lowered myself onto his shaft.

I moaned as my body stretched to welcome him in, and when I looked down I saw the smirk had left his face. He tried to grab my hips, but I patted his hands away and shook my head as I leaned over him, supporting myself with the wall behind us, and started moving my body in endless circles.

"Riding … and flying solo today, dear," I panted. I started to sweat with the force of my motions and the effort of keeping the pace by myself. But it was worth it. I felt myself start to climb higher and higher with each circle of my hips, his meeting mine in response. I brought one hand to my clit, circling until I felt like I was back in the air, flying. I cried out, screaming Severus's name as I came.

When I managed to catch my breath, I looked down. Severus was smiling at me as though he was seeing me again for the first time.

"You're magnificent, Ginny. Can you even begin to comprehend that?" he said, his voice low as he rolled me over onto my back. He'd cast a Cushioning Charm, I realized, as the force of his thrusts pushed me into the softened floor.

"Show me," I panted, meeting his hips with mine, feeling the rise come again as he flew with me.

* * *

School began as it always did. We ignored each other as the First years were sorted into their houses - at least if they were sorted into Gryffindor or Slytherin. Severus had his classroom and office on the third floor, and I had mine in the dungeons. Over the years, I'd finally gained an appreciation for why his hair always looked so terrible when I was a student. Indeed, at the end of the day I was glad that I at least had the luxury of having mine pulled up and out the way from the steam of the constantly bubbling cauldrons that created the perpetual humidity in my classrooms and labs.

When the first Quidditch game was a week away, Rolanda decided she wanted to go ahead and let me referee that first game to make sure my knowledge of the sport was still sound. By then, I was ready for the task. Severus and I had flown together almost daily for the rest of the summer, often than not in more ways than one. I was sure of my skills as a flyer again, and I was more than ready to be back in the thick of the sport that I loved.

That was … until my pre-game physical.

I'd forgotten about those – it had been so long since I'd had to endure one. After it was over, Poppy smiled one of those little secretive smiles of hers and sent me on my way with a wave of her hand, though not before hugging me and giving me a motherly kiss to my forehead.

I ran through the castle to the third floor, dodging water balloons thrown by Peeves as I ran up the stairs, just missing the Bloody Baron chase after the little varmint in disgust.

Severus was sitting in his chair when I ran in and slammed the door behind me.

"Why are you late, Mrs. Snape?" he said, pointing at the clock. "It's five minutes past five."

"Severus," I panted, sitting down in the chair by his desk, "Physical … Poppy … "

He walked to me, alarm in his face. "Ginny, are you okay?"

"Water," I gasped.

He conjured a glass and filled it with a quick "Aguamenti". He gave it to me, watching me carefully as I drank it greedily. "What's happened?" he asked, his voice edged with fear.

I looked up at him and merely smiled.

 _"Ginny?"_

"What do you always ask me before we fly?"

Severus smirked, though the rest of his face was still uneasy. "If you want to ride or fly solo?"

I flushed. "Not that, Severus. When we flew on the pitch this summer, what did you always ask me before you'd let me take a broom?"

His breathing stilled. "Are you pregnant?"

"You know the diagnostic charms better than I do," I said, standing up next to him and taking his hand.

He took his wand from his sleeve, his breath hitching when he said, "Inveniet vitam."

My abdomen glowed with soft, diffuse white light. Severus gasped and placed his hand over it, as though he could already sense the life within. The expression on his face was pure wonder, as mine had been when Poppy cast the charm earlier.

I started to cry, I couldn't help myself. All these years I had been so ambivalent about motherhood, thinking my huge family had more than enough little ones to repopulate the wizarding world. But, now that it was real, I realized that it was what I wanted - maybe not what I'd _always_ wanted - but it was something I wanted now. I laced my fingers with my husband's as the charm's light slowly faded.

I heard him sniff and could feel the wave of emotions run through him. Fear, mostly, and I understood that. Severus didn't like small children, he was always tense at the Burrow when everyone was together. My parents now had ten grandchildren, after Ron and Lavender had twins last year. That many children in one place made me nervous as well - we always begged out of those gatherings early.

"What are you feeling?" I asked shyly, looking up into his expressive black eyes.

"Everything," he said. "I think I'm feeling every emotion anyone could ever feel all at once. Mostly fear that he or she will be a Hufflepuff."

I pursed my lips, trying not to laugh when I said, "Severus, you do remember that twins run in my family."

With that statement, and for the first time in his life, my husband dropped his wand.


End file.
